Many Emotions....

So I am about 3 weeks away from shipping to basic....  It's really awesome and all but I get these waves of being really pumped and then being scared shitless  (Highlight black space to see word.)  There is really no way to explain it any better than that.  I am ready to leave home and start my own journey but at the same time I will miss my family, friends, dogs,co-workers.    I know basic is going to be tough and it will transform me from a teenage wanna be nurse into a man who is ready to conquer anything that comes my way.     But enough of my emotions for now....


   So I only have about one week of Chicken Hell left and I am working at the bakery till September 4th.    


 The going away party is set.


 Healthcare Directive, Power of Attorney and other "morbid" paperwork is signed and notarized.   


People keep asking me if I need anything or want to do anything before I go....  One thing I really need is prayers and LOTS of them;specifically targeted at my fear and for safe travels/safe BMT.  


What I want to do is to see all of my family,friends,co-workers before I go y'all are my support and I REALLY need you right now (Even though I have my family behind me 100%).   I know we all have our differences and some are not so supportive of me going off to be in the military  but, I really need your support in this because I am on the edge and right now this is the HARDEST thing I have done in my short 18 almost 19 years and know that I didn't take this enlistment thing lightly.  

   

Memories Of Jonah

So as Christmas is approaching; I find my self  remembering my brother Jonah and the other family members I have lost.  As some of you may know I lost my brother Jonah in 2006 to a rare genetic disease called Leukyodystrophy.  It effects the white coating around the brain and you slowly loose everything from motor skills to talking, and even your eye sight.  My brother was in the Wings pediatric hospice program for several years prior to him going to see Jesus in Heaven.  

Needless to say it's a sad time for my family and I do enjoy all of the family time,baking, the gifts,giving gifts and celebrating Jesus' Birthday.  Every year when the schools let out for Christmas (not winter) break,  I see  several brothers around our ages (mine and Jonah's)  come in to the restaurant I work at and I think that should be Jonah and I going out to eat and riding in my truck and spending time together.  But, God decided to take him away into heaven to life a full life that he never had the oppertunity to have.    It breaks my heart every time I see a pair of brothers like that.   I do tear up and I have to go into the kitchen and  gather my composure and push though it till the end of my shift when I cry on the way home.     Even though I know  he is in Heaven and having an amazing time, I feel there is this hole that can't be filled even with Christ being in my life.   I sometimes find my self putting on the happy act when I am feeling down just to keep everyone in the Chistmas cheer and not be a downer.
 
But, in all the sadness I have all of the memories of Jonah and It helps some but nothing more would help except to have him here with us Celebrating Christmas.

Now That I have most of you depressed.... I will have to find a humorous story/video. :)